I will admit the wording of the story in some places isn't the best. Even so, as I was reading it, there was one bit that stood out to me (emphasis mine):
"The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place."
And that's what occurred to me as I was browsing RR's new additions and came across the profile of a little girl whose screen name was none other than Holland
Of course, adopting a child with special needs is different than having a child with special needs. With adoption, you usually know right from the start that you aren't going to Italy. That sounds beneficial at first. You get more time to prepare for Holland, right?
Well, yes. You also get more time to worry and read up on symptoms your child may never have, health problems they may never exhibit, and so on. It's much easier to lose the child in their disability when you know you're going to Holland.
Why can't we just let Holland be Holland? Why can't we prepare for Holland the way we'd prepare for Italy? You wouldn't go on a week-long vacation worrying that it might rain the entire week, and you wouldn't keep yourself from having a baby just because you're worried they might get colic, or acid reflux, or have problems nursing.
But if it did rain the entire week? That doesn't mean you can't enjoy your vacation. If you found out breastfeeding (or something else important to you) would be impossible? That wouldn't keep you from making the best of things. You'd take it as it came.
Love Holland because it isn't Italy, and because Holland has tulips.