Caged Birds

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,

When he beats his bars and he would be free;

It is not a carol of joy or glee,

But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,

But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings -

I know why the caged bird sings!

-Paul Laurence Dunbar, "Sympathy"

Prudence

If you saw my last post, you'll know that Prudence is a newly-listed child who's waiting for a family. With grants now in the process of being relocated, Constance's grant was transferred to Prudence's account.

So in honor of sweet Constance, who still waits, I wanted to introduce Prudence to you. Even if Constance cannot come home (at least not yet), this little girl is someone who can. One of the millions that need to be shouted for.

Prudence is seven; she'll turn eight in December. She is located in Asia. Just like Constance, she has Down syndrome and a congenital heart defect (a PDA). She also has some difficulty swallowing. As a result of her heart condition, she can't stand or walk for long periods without getting tired, and frequently has colds or fevers. This can be treated when she comes home, or it might close on its own.

She's said to be gentle and a little shy, but she gets along just fine with other kids. She also likes quiet places. She sounds like a sweet, contemplative little girl. They describe her as "a lovely little girl."

She also has good fine motor skills, and does a good job of understanding what is said to her. Her speech isn't clear (which is common in kids with Down syndrome), but she does get her needs met. I think she'd just blossom with some speech therapy.

Prudence has a grant of over $3300, thanks to Constance and another little girl passing their grants on. It's so bittersweet to see, but the money will help her and with any luck, she won't be waiting one day longer than necessary.

Prudence, sweet girl, I am honored to have been led to you and I cannot wait to see how your story unfolds.

Standing at a Closed Door

It's been four months since R country banned Americans adopting their children, leaving dozens of families separated and hundreds of children waiting. I remember hearing about it and thinking, "No, they've been talking about this before but the children have always taken priority, so this can't be right." But it was. It was harsh to hear for those who have spent so much time and money working to get their children home, as well as those who spent time fundraising and advocating. Most of the kids will now be waiting indefinitely, and the few that still have a chance at international adoption are only available to Canadians, who have a more difficult and more expensive time bringing them home than Americans did.

Truth be told, it made me want to stop advocating. The world of international adoption is not easy or quiet. We have no choice but to accept that anything can change. And so many of the children I prayed and advocated for are stuck, maybe for months, maybe for years, maybe for longer.

There were three children in this country who stole BIG pieces of my heart...one of them has a family, but they had only taken one trip when the ban came into effect. They are doing what they can to see if he may still be able to come home, but they need a lot of hope and prayers sent their way.

The other two are still waiting. Yesterday, it was decided that the waiting children in this country would have their funds regifted. We will begin fundraising for them again when and if their country lifts the ban. People who were warriors for these children are being given some say in where the money goes and I am thankful for that.

So many people advocated and fundraised for Constance in 2011 when she was transferred. We know she is not in a bad institution right now. It was decided that her grant would go to Prudence, a newly-listed child.

Carmen was my Angel Tree child for the last two years. I have asked that her grant be regifted to Kiril. He has been listed and waiting for many years. I don't know exactly how long, but at least since 2010 because I remember seeing him when I first happened upon Reece's Rainbow.

I love Carmen, Constance, and Timothy dearly and I have decided that I will not let this ban be a reason to be silent when so many others are still waiting. In the weeks and months to come, I will be writing about Prudence and Kiril, as well as the outcome of Timothy's adoption. I want to help find them families in honor of those who must wait.

For many of them, we're standing at a closed door right now.

And while we will be checking up on that door, if we keep standing at it and trying the lock, we may miss all the others that are wide open.

Even if They Have Special Needs (Connect-the-Dots Pants)

School has been keeping me busy lately. Nerves are wearing thin as the end of the school year approaches, but it is more important to remember the good days than the bad.

So, in that spirit, here is something Mac drew while we were playing Pictionary recently:

(Yes, I know you aren't supposed to include words in Pictionary. He was giving me a hint.)

And here's Sarabeth enjoying some harmless amusement. I should explain this one. We were doing a worksheet and she finished early, so I was trying to help Michael get his done. I looked over a minute later and saw her with a pencil in hand doing this...

"Sarabeth, are you playing Connect-the-Dots on your pants?"

"Checkers!" she said with a grin.

Hey, there's something valuable in finding amusement anywhere.

A Bit on Autism Speaks

Today is the first day of Autism Awareness Month. Tomorrow is "Light it Up Blue" day, an annual event hosted by Autism Speaks. I know some of my readers are involved in the autism community, so this is something I felt was important to share.

I have something to say. I'm autistic. I wasn't going to share that on this blog because I was afraid of getting attacked for it. But this month I have to stand up for myself and for people like me.

So before you give a nickel to Autism Speaks, before you send up a blue balloon, before you associate puzzle pieces with people like me, please take a moment and listen.

Here is Autism Speaks's homepage. One of the first things you see is "Autism affects 1 in 88 children." I'm a bit bothered by the fact that they seem to think that once we turn eighteen, we'll lose our diagnosis, but that's not a huge deal, really. All you'd need to do is change the word "children" to "people."

Now let's look at the "What is Autism?" page. "By way of comparison, more children are diagnosed with autism each year than with juvenile diabetes, AIDS or cancer, combined."

Okay, you shouldn't really be comparing a developmental disability to serious diseases. But I get it. These are comparisons that help people visualize how many affected people there are in the US. That's pretty important.

It turns out they don't have a single autistic board member. That strikes me as pretty strange - why not get a high-functioning autistic person or someone with Asperger's on their team, someone who knows what it's like to live with the disability every day? Oh, they have people related to an autistic child. I find it rather strange that they think they can speak for that child, who has opinions of his/her own.

How about here? This is probably the worst page of their website. I want you to read these statements and imagine that these people are talking about you, are talking about your friends, are talking about people you work with and people you love dearly.

"It is painful to love so much, to want something so much, and not quite get it. You want your child to get better..." (Get better? What's there to get better from? This is a genetic disorder. It's not like we are ill.)

"[You may] find yourself having a difficult time accepting and dealing with the fact that your loved one has autism..."

"[I]t is OK to be sad that you have a brother or sister affected by autism..."

"Having a family member with autism can often be very time-consuming, and attention-grabbing."

"...you are outraged that this diagnosis has happened to your child."

By the way, I'd like to say something about that last one. People like me are born this way. Nothing "happened" to cause this (and before you say a word about vaccines, do your research - over a dozen studies have proven that they don't cause autism). We were autistic before we walked into the office of the person who diagnosed us. We were autistic before we (or our parents) filled out that form of behaviors and handed it to the doctor so he could decide if we were affected. Nothing is different when we walk out, except that now we have more information and hopefully more resources available to us.

And another thing. Over and over I see Autism Speaks and people who agree with them talking about curing autism.

Here's the thing. It is hard to have autism. I know it must be hard to parent someone with autism, too. But autism is something that affects the whole personality. It shapes our interests, our knowledge, and our lives.

IF YOU WANT A CURE FOR AUTISM, YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT AUTISTICS AROUND. YOU ARE SAYING THAT THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE US.

Albert Einstein had autism, and so did Charles Darwin, although it wasn't called that back then.

Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of Pokemon, has autism.

Gary Numan, a British singer and songwriter, has autism.

Michael Moon, Elizabeth Moon's son, has autism.

There are so many of us who have led successful lives, and without us, things would not be the same.

And here is one last thing, in case you weren't convinced...

Take a look at this video, "Autism Every Day." This is something that Autism Speaks produced and later took off their YouTube channel.

Did you catch the bit where their former Vice President said in front of her three-year-old autistic daughter that she at one point considered driving them both off a bridge as a form of murder-suicide? And that the only reason she didn't was because she had another child (who doesn't have autism) waiting at home?

So please, if you feel the need to do something to help autistics and their families this month, steer clear of this charity. There are plenty of others you can donate to. (This one is a particularly good one.)

T Minus 27

This might be your son.

His name is Joseph and he is fifteen years old. In his country, one he turns sixteen he can no longer be adopted. In order for him to be adopted, he needs a family to file a petition with USCIS before his next birthday.

Joseph turns sixteen on April twenty-fifth.

He has said that he wants to be adopted. There are twenty-seven days before his time runs out.

Please, if you are paper-ready or able and willing to file that petition in the next twenty-seven days, would you take a closer look at this boy? Even if you aren't, could you share his information? We need to get his information out there if he's going to have any hope of getting a family. His chances only get worse with every passing day.

Let's make his dream a reality.

So let me get this straight.

You think it's bad to be a person like me?

 That people like me should be put down for something that's no fault of our own?

That I should be made fun of even when I may not be capable of defending myself?

And if you don't, why are you still saying things are "retarded?"

You can call something childish, ridiculous, pointless, senseless, stupid, irrational, obnoxious, annoying, trivial, monotonous, or any of dozens of synonyms for any of these words.

Without insulting so many beautiful people all over the world.